021 VOICE LIST NINE

[deadliestviper]

Fine.

You've all thought about it, even if you haven't said it: if you could kill anyone, or order anyone killed, from your world or here, who would it be?

If you feel like answering a bonus question, why? Unless you're extraordinarily brave, I expect your answer privately. No judgment.

Comments

[ Private ]

[deadliestviper]

Were you ever meant to be unsupervised, at any point in your life? Surely your superiors didn't intend to watch you for every second of every day. [Beatrix tilts her head to the side, lips going flat and thin in displeasure (at the information, not Ben).] What if you disagreed with the directions?

[The question doesn't offend her, but she shakes her head a bit sadly.] No. It all happened too early for that.

[ Private ]

[warisart]

We escaped when I was eleven years old. Preliminary solo field operations were tentatively scheduled for the fifteenth year, pending individual subject progress and proficiency. Until such a time as we had proven we were trustworthy, we were confined to the compound.

[He tilts his head, and even before he can answer the question about disobedience, there's the flash of the indoctrination he has to overcome. It still makes his mouth twitch.] Disagree? We didn't disagree. Not if we valued what freedom we had.

[And then a slight softening of the rigidity that speaking about Manticore always automatically brings back into his demeanor, more open, personal curiosity. Younger.]

Is... there a timetable? For naming. Children. [Ben wouldn't know.]

[ Private ]

[deadliestviper]

Did you want to get to that point?

[It's the most personal question she'll ask, and the only one, although she has many others – what freedom did they have? What were the targets on these solo missions? And what did one have to do to prove their trustworthiness?]

Not quite. The child's officially named soon after birth, but some parents pick names years in advance and some don't choose until the last minute. At the time, my fiancé and I were still deciding on a name we both liked.

[ Private ]

[warisart]

[Ben would answer any of them to the best of his ability; he's accustomed to the things about himself that others would consider private or personal being public domain, and he's just settled enough here that he's even willing to offer some of his private thoughts as well. She's been kind to him. She's being kind to him. He doesn't hesitate.]

We didn't want. Four years was too far ahead to seem real, we took a day at a time. It might have changed by the time we were old enough anyway, so wanting it was worse than futile.

[To the rest, he considers for a moment, then:]

I understand.