021 VOICE LIST NINE

[deadliestviper]

Fine.

You've all thought about it, even if you haven't said it: if you could kill anyone, or order anyone killed, from your world or here, who would it be?

If you feel like answering a bonus question, why? Unless you're extraordinarily brave, I expect your answer privately. No judgment.

Comments

[Private] (Just after the flood starts)

[timesbureaucrat]

[Beatrix's feeling is quite accurate. After all, back home if circumstances change in just the right way, what would otherwise be an illegal hit can become a (mostly) legal CIA assassination sanctioned by Presidential authority. And it's good to be prepared in case that happens.

And music from nowhere starts in the background.]

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!

[Then he returns to normal speech as if completely unaware that he was singing two seconds ago. He alternates between normal talking and moments of choral additions.]

There's Lord Zakar, for quite literally getting away with murder. 227 of them.

Inquisitor Darkel, who is already dead, but it wasn't soon enough in my opinion. She was a traitor and a war criminal.

Valyes, both universe's versions of him. In one he's a traitor and assassin. In the other he's just a traitor.

I've got 'em on the list — I've got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

Davros and all his Daleks are a scourge on the universe.

Torvald personally betrayed me.

Andred tricked me and betrayed me and was fool enough to trust Darkel and let Pandora escape.

I've got 'em on the list — I've got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

Jonias was performing lobotomies on slaves for his experiments.

Councillor Rhavon is a dangerous idiot.

Councillor Allora tried to frame me for an assassination I did not commit.

I've got 'em on the list — I've got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

[And that's just people at home...]

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

[At first Beatrix just stifles a smile, biting the inside of her cheek as Narvin introduces the list. Zakar, Darkel, and Valyes' introductions each make her blink in turn but suddenly there's another melodious couplet and she tilts her head in curiosity. It is only, repeat only, due to her years of training not to show emotion that she hasn't burst out in a fit of giggles yet.

No point in embarrassing him. She clears her throat and continues.]

I know this Davros is on board and I've heard people mention Daleks. What are they?

[Private]

[timesbureaucrat]

They are the mutant Kaleds who were put into a pot.
And they scream "Exterminate!" and are quite difficult to stop.
Killing and slavery are things on which they do insist.
They'd none of them be missed--they'd none of them be missed.

I've got them on the list--I've got them on the list.
And they'll none of them be missed--they'll none of them be missed.

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

[Beatrix raises an eyebrow as Narvin resumes singing. It remains arched as he continues.]

I see.

And what do Daleks do that's so dangerous?

[Private]

[timesbureaucrat]

[Music swells and...breaks off and Narvin speaks normally.]

They kill and enslave everything in their path and are almost impossible to stop.

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

So how can you stop them?

[Private]

[timesbureaucrat]

That depends on their design. I can tell you what won't work. Fists, feet, sticks, knives, swords, guns, tanks, missiles, poison gas, weaponized viruses, or radiation. I'm told that baseball bats can be effective, but only when enhanced with energy from the Hand of Omega and unfortunately we don't have that here.

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

What the fuck is the Hand of Omega?

[Private]

[timesbureaucrat]

It's a stellar manipulator. [Time Lords give everything pretentious names.]

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

So baseball bats are effective when enhanced with the power of a star?

[Private]

[timesbureaucrat]

Not the power of a star, power from a device used to manipulate stars, usually to alter their life cycle.

I don't know how one uses it to modify a baseball bat, exactly. It's something the Doctor did once, and he never shared his method with me.

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

Okay. And if you're human, you're – what? Royally fucked?

[Private]

[timesbureaucrat]

Unless you can get your hands on a very large and high powered energy blaster, yes.