010 VIDEO LIST FIVE

[deadliestviper]

[Here you have an image of a grim-looking woman dressed in yellow, her dour demeanor in stark contrast to the cartoonish world behind her. Her face is stony, body language carefully controlled, but her eyes are strangely bright and furious, hinting at a storm surging away in her brain.]

What the fuck is wrong with everyone?! Are your brains really that fucking fragile, or were you all always this crazy and just showing it off now? [Her eyes narrow into slits, her hand worked into a fist so tight her knuckles have gone white.] God damn it. This is pathetic. All of you. I hope you've got the decency to be humiliated, you goddamn weak fucks.

Blonsky and Dracula snapped like rubber bands. I'm making my way back to the Barge, so you fuckers are on your own.

[She reaches forward to turn off the feed, but stops her hand at the last second.] If you've gone the slightest bit native, here's a little advice. You try fucking with me, and I will make the most nightmarish tortures your sad little queen's ever doled out look as innocuous as a child's skinned knee.

You've been warned. Come and find me, motherfuckers.

[Click.]

OOC: Beatrix can be found trying to find her way back to the Barge, a little more lost than she'd like to admit. None of this has helped her sanity at all, so if you choose to contact or run across her, you're likely in for some abuse.

Comments

[megamind]

Well, aren't we just a ray of sunshine, sweetheart.

[ That's a blue alien covered in grease and dirt and in the engine room. Twisted Sister bleeds over from the background. ]

Do you honestly need help, or are you luring someone else out to stab? I mean, I can't come out either way as I'm elbow deep in the ship's guts, but, uh, you know. In case I know a person who could muster enough goodness to care about your personal wellbeing.

...which I probably don't.

[anidiotchild]

Your neurons are firing. [Which currently means 'you're just as crazy as the rest of us'.]

[deadliestviper]

If you think I need your sympathy or help, you're just as delusional as the rest of these crazy bastards.

[deadliestviper]

No shit, Sherlock.

[anidiotchild]

You should be more careful.

[megamind]

I don't have any of the former to give you, and the latter's out of the question while I look down the barrel of forty-eight hours with no sleep...

[ he pinches the bridge of his nose, giggles a little, and shakes it off. ]

But if you insist.

spam! Endish of port

[ichoosefight]

[ After a day or two, Steph stops checking her comm. She decides that she likes Wonderland, and she doesn't want to miss it while she's talking away on some stupid network. She has Kon to keep her company, and the off characters they run across from time to time. As the time passes she thinks the place becomes more and more wonderful. The color of the sky, the smell of the grass, everything is just wonderful and it becomes more vivid and somehow even more wonderful as time passes. It's so wonderful that she starts giggling without warning at the thought that that must be why they call it Wonderland.

She isn't entirely sure what she was doing a moment ago. Playing hide and seek with Kon? Who knows. But now she's chasing something that her mind helpfully informs her is a Bread and Butterfly. She thinks it is, anyway. She finally snatches it out of the sky and, without a second thought, takes a big bite out of it. The poor thing flutters desperately, spraying bits of melted butter as it does.

It tastes like bread and butter. Go figure! ]

[deadliestviper]

Yeah, Smurfy, you're just as fucked-up as the rest of them but stupid to boot.

[deadliestviper]

You should take your own advice before I lose my patience.

[megamind]

Better hope not-- as I'm the one putting the ship back together with Toshiko. [ Just sayin'. ] So if you'd like us to leave this pit of bright colors and giant mushrooms, I best stay sane, no?

[ Like he was all that balanced to begin with, okay. ]

Also, do I need to give the smurf commentary again? Low hanging fruit, blah blah blah, blue person, blah blah blah, try harder. Seriously, those jokes were old when I was still in my jumper.

[anidiotchild]

It's already lost. Too late to change, like cancer. It's terminal.

spam!

[deadliestviper]

[A day or two in the bewildering locale has had the opposite effect on B: Wonderland is far too bizarre to offer any form of comfort and her frustration has escalated from anger to something more like a quiet rage. The last trace of patience is long drained out of her. She's already started the berserker rampage by overpowering a scouting card (who would have thought the Three of Clubs would carry such an impressive halberd?) – now, the only thing that matters is getting back to the Barge.

Through anyone in her way, if necessary.

Steph does not register as the girl from the Barge, Kon's girlfriend, the young lady who kind of intimidates B as she watches from afar. Right now, she's simply another crazed denizen of the land wallowing in nonsense and silliness.

Nothing short of infuriating. Weapon held upright at her side, Beatrix stands tall and glares at the other woman.]

You're fucking disgusting.

[deadliestviper]

If it's terminal, it isn't terminal for me.

[anidiotchild]

You can't escape it. Not until what's on the outside gets put back in.

[deadliestviper]

Jesus. How has someone not shut you up yet?

[anidiotchild]

[Shrugggg.] Mirror neurons respond more positively once you're through the trees.

[deadliestviper]

[So the continued existence of the Barge is all on a little blue man with a goatee.] Oh God. We're all fucking doomed.

[deadliestviper]

What the hell are you talking about? Just say it!

[anidiotchild]

I did.

spam!

[ichoosefight]

[ She pauses and smiles at Bea. The insanity is clear in her eyes - she's not all there. Or maybe she's more there than she's meant to be, one or the other. She holds out the Bread and Butterfly to the woman she doesn't quite recognize. ]

Not disgusting, it's really delicious! Wanna try some? [ The poor thing is still fluttering. Steph takes another bite, then holds it out again. ]

[megamind]

Your vote of confidence is duly noted.

[deadliestviper]

You are utterly useless, do you know that?

[anidiotchild]

No. [Maybe you're just not listening. B(]

spam!

[deadliestviper]

[Fuck, it's like Ozzy Osbourne biting the head off a bat. Obviously insane. B lowers the halberd and braces it in her arms, stance solid and unyielding.]

If you take one step toward me you'll regret it.

spam!

[ichoosefight]

What's that for? [ Her smile falters for a moment. The butterfly thing shudders, then falls still. Apparently they can only lose so much of each wing before they die. Her arm drops, but she keeps a hold of her snack. If the woman doesn't want it that's her prerogative.

She smiles again and leans forward to examine the halberd. ]

It looks really sharp! It's pretty.