002 VIDEO LIST TWO

[deadliestviper]

[This time when the video turns on, Beatrix is well-groomed and polished; she's dressed in a very feminine suit with a nametag reading BETH S. on the lapel, is wearing makeup, and her hair is pulled back in a ponytail. Her smile is bright, easy, and full. In both name and deed, she's here on Official Business.]

Ahoy! – That's the right terminology, right? I've never been on one of these things before. [She winces, a little self-deprecatingly.] Uh, anyway, hello there, I thought I'd better introduce myself since I'm going to be working with a few of you. My name's Beth Solberg, I'm a social worker, and I'm just here to check in on the staff and residents, ask a few questions, basically make sure everything on the Barge here is up to snuff.

So yes, I'll be speaking with a few of you. Let me assure you, you don't have to answer any questions you don't want to. I'm not here to interrogate, I just want to get the gist of the situation. And it is an unusual situation here, so any comments, complains, you've got about the place, this is the time to talk.

I'm setting up shop in the – what's this place called? That's it, library, no special term? Okay – I'm in the library for the next day, just stop on in. [She pauses, lifting a pen to her lips as she consults a clipboard.] Oh, and I've got a couple people I need to check in with – newer ones specifically. If none of you mind doing this in reverse alphabetical order, may I speak to a... Ms. Reese?

[OOC: So since I forgot to say earlier, this flood B.B. got marginalized. Beatrix still got pregnant, still had the baby, just never hid her pregnancy from Bill or ran away to Texas. As such she's still very much an active member of the Assassination Squad, with the events of the movie never happening. The social work thing? Just a ruse to get in the same room with her current target Natasha.]

Comments

[yeahscience]

[A little, but mostly because you're an inmate, B. He's still trying to figure out how to point this out discreetly.]

Just... wondering what mine says, 'cause I think it might be out of date.

[deadliestviper]

[Good luck, Jesse.] Well, what do you think should be included? That's a good place to start.

[yeahscience]

What's it say? [lol stubborn.]

[deadliestviper]

I told you. I can't divulge personal information, even if it's about you. Red tape, you know. [She fucking loves red tape, it's the handiest excuse in the world.]

[yeahscience]

That's like, that... HIPAA, or what's it called, right?

[deadliestviper]

Well, HIPAA includes security of billing information and doesn't technically extend to state government, but it's similar, yes.

[yeahscience]

[Whoops.] Yeah, I know. [He didn't.] But like that, though.

And you remember the Admiral pulling you on and telling you to, uh, like, social worker us inmates?

[deadliestviper]

Counsel? Yes, I remember being told to do my job. [Which is technically the truth!]

[Private]

[yeahscience]

[Okay, even for a flood, that's pretty balls-out weird, and... it's not like he has a lot of faith in the Admiral, but he's pretty sure he wouldn't just go and hand over all the inmate files to anyone, much less an inmate.

He hesitates, then switches to private.]

Look, as far as I'm concerned, your secret's safe with me and all, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one here who knows you're full of shit. Just a like... heads-up.

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

[The moment they're switched over to private the façade drops. She's not Beth in any incarnation anymore, she's just Beatrix Kiddo, natural born killer.]

Excuse me?

Let's have your name then, junior.

[Private]

[yeahscience]

[Well, that seems more like it, anyway.]

...Brandon.

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

Are you fucking with me, Brandon? Because I'll tell you right now and spare you some pain, that is not a wise decision.

[Private]

[yeahscience]

What? No! [Sort of.] I was trying to help you out, geez! Some gratitude.

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

Bullshit. If you want to help me then help me. So tell me, who's suspicious of me and why?

[Private]

[yeahscience]

I don't know. But this shit with the social work, anyone who's been here long enough ought to be able to figure out what a load that is.

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

Well. Thank you, Brandon, for letting me know. Luckily, I'm not looking for someone who's been here long.

[Private]

[yeahscience]

So what are you looking for, then?

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

[deadpan] If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

[Private]

[yeahscience]

[He's sort of unsure how much of a joke that is.]

Look, whatever. Like I said, it was a heads-up, because I'm not the only one who's gonna be like, what the fuck is this?

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

So now I know. Did you expect thanks?

[Private]

[yeahscience]

Uh, sure, yeah. That'd be nice.

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

[very drily:] Thank you, Brandon.

What's your real name?

[Private]

[yeahscience]

[He's stupid, but not that stupid.]

Peter.

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

[She's not sure she believes that either.]

Now that wasn't so hard, was it?

[Private]

[yeahscience]

No problem, "Beth." [He doesn't know, that's probably still her real name, but he's going to make it sound like it has quotes anyway, because now he's feeling put out and annoyed.]