040 VOICE LIST SIXTEEN

[deadliestviper]

[Coming out of her first death toll (first real death toll; those times on the Mirror Barge don’t count), Beatrix is in bad shape. Everything hurts and she’s moving much slower than normal, shivering from a cold that just won’t go away. But there are things to be said, news to be shared, and they won’t wait for her to feel better. When the audio clicks on it catches nothing but a breath of air, the sound of hair brushing fabric and skin. Then a throaty voice, hoarse, one straining to sound as normal as possible:]

I want to apologize for everything my other self did. [She pauses; she wishes she could say she’d never done it, but in a sense she hadn’t. She wishes she could say it sickens her to see what her other self is capable of, but all the crimes were those she’d committed before.

Maybe all she can say is that she’ll never do it again.]

I won’t ask anyone to trust me after that. But if any of the people I hurt need satisfaction, whether in the form of words or blood, they’ll have it.

Just make it quick, please. I have unfinished business at home.

Private Messages

[Cecil, Vin, and Bond, separately]
We need to talk. [Mostly about how you’d better not be like that normally.]

[Arya]
I am not happy with you.

[Anya and Ben]
Please know that in my right mind I’d never would do anything to hurt either of you. You don’t have to believe it, but I need to say it.

[Zack]
I… Thank you. Thank you so much. For everything.

And I’m so sorry for trying to kill you.

[Friends and Family]
I’m sorry, again, about what I was.

I don’t know why, but I just – graduated. [She sounds supremely confused about this. Yes, Mirror Barge taught her two lessons, that death is cruel but can also be merciful, that war isn’t always the way to go. They seem like such simple truths, but they’re difficult to realize.] I’m going home. If you’re up for it, I’d like to see you before I go.

Comments

[Filter]

[deadliestviper]

Do you have hot cocoa down there?

Re: [Filter]

[with_my_teacup]

Better. I can make it. The good stuff.

[Filter -> Spam]

[deadliestviper]

Then I'll be down in two shakes.

[It's closer to three, but after walking to Ellie's Bea is regaining her speed, doing her best to shake off the death toll.]

[ Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

[Riddick is stirring milk and actual little chunks of chocolate together in a saucepan when she gets there-- when the last little nugget has melted in and the consistency is even, he transfers it quickly into a mug.]

Hey. So, keys to the barge.

[ Spam]

[deadliestviper]

[Bea rests in the doorway, her hand on the frame, and for a moment just breathes deep the melting chocolate's scent. Even though she's too sore to use it, her sword is strapped to her back, a reminder that she isn't helpless, that she's no longer in that place.]

Sorry?

[ Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

Graduation. [He offers the mug.] Congrats.

[ Spam]

[deadliestviper]

Oh - thank you.

[Whether she means the congratulations or the cocoa, that's not clear. The hot drink warms her hands and she breathes in the steam, letting it waft over her face, before taking a long drink.

If there's someone she can confide this in, it's Riddick, and she leans casually against the doorway. Still, she does not quite manage to met his eyes.]

It's strange. After all that, I don't want anyone here dead.

Re: [ Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

[He nods, frowns-- his brow wrinkles as he tries to put it into words.]

You get... Tired of it. Knowing it won't solve anything.

[ Spam]

[deadliestviper]

I'm very tired.

And I'm going home to kill three people.

Re: [ Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

[He nods at that, too.]

Then get some rest.

[ Spam]

[deadliestviper]

I will.

It's just, I still want these three dead. I still know they deserve to die. That didn't change. I always thought it would.

Re: [ Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

Some days it's just about removing a threat. Reality's harsh and we still live in it.

[And he's still a graduate.]

[ Spam]

[deadliestviper]

Sometimes it just has to be done.

What changed for you, when you graduated?

Re: [ Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

I changed some of my assumptions. I made a choice about how much effort I put into - [he waves around him, at the whole barge past these kitchen walls] - living with other people.

[ Spam]

[deadliestviper]

Did it take less than you thought, too? [Less energy, less thought. Less conscious effort.]

Re: [ Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

Yes and no. Less ... Change. More effort to sustain.

[He purses his lips thoughtfully.]

[ Spam]

[deadliestviper]

That's what I suspected.

Do you ever think you might slide back?

Re: [ Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

Occasionally. But I find there's reasons to keep myself on the clear.

You want something to eat before you go?

[ Spam]

[deadliestviper]

...Sure. Whatever you want to make.

[ Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

I'll heat you up some of last night's casserole. It came out well.

You know how long you're gonna be away?

[Spam]

[deadliestviper]

Thanks. This death toll is kicking my ass.

I have to kill Budd, that should take a day. Track down Elle, get what I need out of her. Then Bill.

My guess is, maybe a week.

[Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

[There's some silence, not too awkward, as he reheats a plate of leftovers.]


Think the admiral's gonna keep it synchronized time between here and there?

[Spam]

[deadliestviper]

I have no idea.

All I can say for sure is that I'm coming back.

[Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

Fair.

[He slides into her space, questioning, hand coming out for her shoulder with a great big non-verbal question mark in the gesture.]

[Spam]

[deadliestviper]

[The expression surprises her but she doesn't move away, inclining her head in a hint of a nod.]