deadliestviper: (for that i am sorry)
[personal profile] deadliestviper
[Coming out of her first death toll (first real death toll; those times on the Mirror Barge don’t count), Beatrix is in bad shape. Everything hurts and she’s moving much slower than normal, shivering from a cold that just won’t go away. But there are things to be said, news to be shared, and they won’t wait for her to feel better. When the audio clicks on it catches nothing but a breath of air, the sound of hair brushing fabric and skin. Then a throaty voice, hoarse, one straining to sound as normal as possible:]

I want to apologize for everything my other self did. [She pauses; she wishes she could say she’d never done it, but in a sense she hadn’t. She wishes she could say it sickens her to see what her other self is capable of, but all the crimes were those she’d committed before.

Maybe all she can say is that she’ll never do it again.
]

I won’t ask anyone to trust me after that. But if any of the people I hurt need satisfaction, whether in the form of words or blood, they’ll have it.

Just make it quick, please. I have unfinished business at home.

Private Messages

[Cecil, Vin, and Bond, separately]
We need to talk. [Mostly about how you’d better not be like that normally.]

[Arya]
I am not happy with you.

[Anya and Ben]
Please know that in my right mind I’d never would do anything to hurt either of you. You don’t have to believe it, but I need to say it.

[Zack]
I… Thank you. Thank you so much. For everything.

And I’m so sorry for trying to kill you.

[Friends and Family]
I’m sorry, again, about what I was.

I don’t know why, but I just – graduated. [She sounds supremely confused about this. Yes, Mirror Barge taught her two lessons, that death is cruel but can also be merciful, that war isn’t always the way to go. They seem like such simple truths, but they’re difficult to realize.] I’m going home. If you’re up for it, I’d like to see you before I go.

spam

Date: 2013-11-01 03:04 pm (UTC)
versusnurture: (➵ & to believe in it)
From: [personal profile] versusnurture
[She makes an exasperated noise and cuts the feed, abruptly uninterested in hearing about graduation despite the fact that she asked. She's never felt farther from it in her life, has never wanted redemption or even sanity less.]

[A few minutes later, she knocks sharply on Beatrix's door.]

spam

Date: 2013-11-01 03:38 pm (UTC)
versusnurture: (➵ as it was turning blue)
From: [personal profile] versusnurture
[She enters with steel eyes and pulls the hilt of a knife out of her pocket. It looks decorative. It's not.]

I'd have to be an idiot not to be at this point.

spam

Date: 2013-11-01 04:23 pm (UTC)
versusnurture: (➵ might be a murderess)
From: [personal profile] versusnurture
[She takes it quickly, her hand darting out to slide it into her belt. Then, suddenly, she's suspicious.]

Why are you giving this to me? Are you going to tell Ben?

spam

Date: 2013-11-01 04:41 pm (UTC)
versusnurture: (➵ in the wilderness)
From: [personal profile] versusnurture
Ben's the one who gave me this knife. So no. I just don't want to - have a conversation with him about. Choices. Or anything. Not right now.

[She rubs her arm reflexively and looks away.]

spam

Date: 2013-11-01 05:03 pm (UTC)
versusnurture: (➵ that ship that's only)
From: [personal profile] versusnurture
[Blinking slowly, Abigail nods. Then she grins, bright and brittle.]

He let Anya make Dean skin me. Just - [She holds out her fingers a few inches apart.] A little. A smidge.

And I didn't fight back.
Edited Date: 2013-11-01 05:04 pm (UTC)

spam

Date: 2013-11-01 05:26 pm (UTC)
versusnurture: (➵ did you hide inside)
From: [personal profile] versusnurture
No. [This is absolutely true. Incomplete information, but true.] It wasn't Ben. It wasn't Anya.

That doesn't mean I don't want to.

spam

Date: 2013-11-01 06:00 pm (UTC)
versusnurture: (➵ i don't think)
From: [personal profile] versusnurture
Dean didn't have a choice. It was him doing that or Anya doing worse. He made the best bad choice.

But I can't. If I was going to it would be someone who deserved it more.

spam

Date: 2013-11-01 06:08 pm (UTC)
versusnurture: (➵ swooned the wall all night long)
From: [personal profile] versusnurture
No. Not for me. It's close, but the real worst thing is not even being able to try. Not wanting to. Just - giving up and knowing it'll never end.

spam

Date: 2013-11-02 03:20 am (UTC)
versusnurture: (Default)
From: [personal profile] versusnurture
No.

[A knee-jerk response: it's hers. She wants to end it. But - she breathes in. Out. Settles.]

Maybe. I have to think about it.

Profile

deadliestviper: (Default)
Beatrix Kiddo

July 2022

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