040 VOICE LIST SIXTEEN
Nov. 1st, 2013 07:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deadliestviper[Coming out of her first death toll (first real death toll; those times on the Mirror Barge don’t count), Beatrix is in bad shape. Everything hurts and she’s moving much slower than normal, shivering from a cold that just won’t go away. But there are things to be said, news to be shared, and they won’t wait for her to feel better. When the audio clicks on it catches nothing but a breath of air, the sound of hair brushing fabric and skin. Then a throaty voice, hoarse, one straining to sound as normal as possible:]
I want to apologize for everything my other self did. [She pauses; she wishes she could say she’d never done it, but in a sense she hadn’t. She wishes she could say it sickens her to see what her other self is capable of, but all the crimes were those she’d committed before.
Maybe all she can say is that she’ll never do it again.]
I won’t ask anyone to trust me after that. But if any of the people I hurt need satisfaction, whether in the form of words or blood, they’ll have it.
Just make it quick, please. I have unfinished business at home.
Private Messages
[Cecil, Vin, and Bond, separately]
We need to talk. [Mostly about how you’d better not be like that normally.]
[Arya]
I am not happy with you.
[Anya and Ben]
Please know that in my right mind I’d never would do anything to hurt either of you. You don’t have to believe it, but I need to say it.
[Zack]
I… Thank you. Thank you so much. For everything.
And I’m so sorry for trying to kill you.
[Friends and Family]
I’m sorry, again, about what I was.
I don’t know why, but I just – graduated. [She sounds supremely confused about this. Yes, Mirror Barge taught her two lessons, that death is cruel but can also be merciful, that war isn’t always the way to go. They seem like such simple truths, but they’re difficult to realize.] I’m going home. If you’re up for it, I’d like to see you before I go.
I want to apologize for everything my other self did. [She pauses; she wishes she could say she’d never done it, but in a sense she hadn’t. She wishes she could say it sickens her to see what her other self is capable of, but all the crimes were those she’d committed before.
Maybe all she can say is that she’ll never do it again.]
I won’t ask anyone to trust me after that. But if any of the people I hurt need satisfaction, whether in the form of words or blood, they’ll have it.
Just make it quick, please. I have unfinished business at home.
Private Messages
[Cecil, Vin, and Bond, separately]
We need to talk. [Mostly about how you’d better not be like that normally.]
[Arya]
I am not happy with you.
[Anya and Ben]
Please know that in my right mind I’d never would do anything to hurt either of you. You don’t have to believe it, but I need to say it.
[Zack]
I… Thank you. Thank you so much. For everything.
And I’m so sorry for trying to kill you.
[Friends and Family]
I’m sorry, again, about what I was.
I don’t know why, but I just – graduated. [She sounds supremely confused about this. Yes, Mirror Barge taught her two lessons, that death is cruel but can also be merciful, that war isn’t always the way to go. They seem like such simple truths, but they’re difficult to realize.] I’m going home. If you’re up for it, I’d like to see you before I go.
private
Date: 2013-11-01 02:44 pm (UTC). . . I'm not going to make excuses. There aren't any to make. But I'd like to talk.
private
Date: 2013-11-01 02:54 pm (UTC)To begin with, I apologize for baiting you.
private
Date: 2013-11-01 03:01 pm (UTC)[An awkward pause as she slowly realizes this isn't really the right response.]
It's . . . accepted. I think I understand why, a little bit.
I'm sorry that I hurt you. And for how badly I hurt you, and because I knew you were baiting me when I did it. And for getting Arya involved.
private
Date: 2013-11-01 03:05 pm (UTC)I wish Arya hadn't seen, though.
private
Date: 2013-11-01 03:36 pm (UTC)I would protect her from that with everything in me if I could. Here, I mean. I was very weak in that place.
I'm not weak here. She'll see the difference, even if it takes a while.
private
Date: 2013-11-01 03:53 pm (UTC)It was designed to break us.
private
Date: 2013-11-01 04:13 pm (UTC)private
Date: 2013-11-01 04:26 pm (UTC)private
Date: 2013-11-01 04:33 pm (UTC)I kill for many reasons. If I'm in danger, or if someone I love is, or if there's something that needs destroying. That was - just a convenient way for me to feel less wounded.
private
Date: 2013-11-01 04:35 pm (UTC)[There's a long pause, during which she takes a deep breath.]
I... I don't see any reason why we need to dwell on this. [This isn't forgiveness, but it's a step closer to it.]
private
Date: 2013-11-01 04:38 pm (UTC)Will you talk to Arya? I know I will, eventually, but. You've known her longer.
private
Date: 2013-11-01 04:44 pm (UTC)private
Date: 2013-11-01 04:47 pm (UTC)private
Date: 2013-11-01 04:49 pm (UTC)I broke before she did.
private
Date: 2013-11-01 05:01 pm (UTC)[A beat.]
Does she remind you of yourself, too?
private
Date: 2013-11-01 05:03 pm (UTC)private
Date: 2013-11-01 05:20 pm (UTC)private
Date: 2013-11-01 05:51 pm (UTC)private
Date: 2013-11-01 05:55 pm (UTC)[She is, and Beatrix is. Beautiful, dangerous, ruthless, and strong.]
private
Date: 2013-11-01 06:29 pm (UTC)private
Date: 2013-11-02 03:06 am (UTC)private
Date: 2013-11-04 06:12 am (UTC)