001 VIDEO LIST ONE

[deadliestviper]

[The screen switches on, revealing a face caked in dirt, covered in dust, streaked with sweat, and smeared with blood. A pair of troubled, if clear, blue eyes look out from it, and then there's a shake of the head, followed by a swirl of long, messy blonde hair – underneath all the grime, the new arrival's a female. She gives a bright smile, the sight slightly disarming on such a gritty face.]

Hi. [Her voice cracks when she speaks and she coughs, then clears her throat.]

Sorry to bother you folks, but it appears I've got some new business to attend to and I'm a little out of sorts. [Her smile turns apologetic, a little self-deprecating. It might be cute if she didn't look like an adult female approximation of Peanuts' Pigpen.] If one of you would be so kind as to point me toward the showers, I'd be in your debt.

[One last thing: her voice lowers, the sparkle gone from her eyes.] Budd... If you're here, I'll find you.

Comments

[deadliestviper]

You said usually. In my experience people don't reform that quickly, if they do at all. There's got to be a few hangers-on who've stayed well past that date, aren't there? [Because she doubts she's going to be that quick a study.

B laughs as the dog rattles the door, managing to look a lot more at ease than she really is on the barge.] Very big, by the sound of it. Fozzie Bear, huh?

[scarlet_discord]

Yeah, there are. People like Arthas, and Reaver, and Crane. Arthas is even kind of a friend, but there's this side to him that...yeah. [Her glance cuts away for a second.]

Anyway, some of us need to do more to reform than others. Me, I'm uh...well, I need longer because I have a problem most people don't have to deal with. But once you get past a certain stage it gets shitloads easier.

[The door rattles, and there's an audible thud as the dog beyond flops over onto his back dramatically and rrooowwwls.]

[Wanda giggles.] Um, yeah, I'm a Muppets fan.

[deadliestviper]

Ah, let me guess. What's coming next is a warning to stay away from them, right?

Ain't that the truth. [If she hadn't seen so many younger women build up so many lists of victims, she'd ask what Wanda had done to warrant staying longer. As it is, it's none of her business.] And what stage is that, exactly?

I think we all are. Electric Mayhem was always my favorite.

[scarlet_discord]

Nah, I'm sure you know how to take care of your business. Arthas is moody and unstable but can be awesome, and Crane and Reaver are both trolls. Richie is a creeper but seems to be starting to calm down. Perry's just an asshole, but he's honest about it.

[She shrugs.] It's hard to describe. For me a bunch of it was this moment when I realized that the benefits of being here and working toward a second chance sure as hell beat being dead.

[A laugh. Fozzie scratches once at the door.] Aaaaanimaaall. Although the circle I run in involves at least one dude who actually looks like a Muppet.

[deadliestviper]

Thanks for the warning, I'll watch my back. Anyone else I should know about?

Ah, the moment of conversion. Hope no one's holding their breath on that one. [She's not dead. She hopes to God she's not, that Budd's rustic little torture hadn't killed her. Not now.

Not that it matters now. She pushes the thought aside and focuses on the conversation and Fozzie's scratching, laughing a little.] He's persistent. Is your friend a dead ringer for any muppet in particular or is he his own creature?

[scarlet_discord]

That dude the Comedian. He killed a friend of mine.

....

[She thinks about it.]

Not so much conversion as...understanding. Suddenly you grok what you need to do to get the hell out.

[She snorts at Fozzie's theatrics.] He wants to love on all the new people.

Hank is...[she considers this for a moment and starts giggling.] He's a multiple PhD who happens to look like the Cookie Monster. My world is fucking weird.

[deadliestviper]

Why? [Which makes all the difference.]

Ah. Different experience, got it. [Still sounds exactly the same to her, although she has to hazard a guess what "grok" means. She arches an eyebrow at that next bit, allowing herself a smile though no questions.] Technically that's Sesame Street.

[scarlet_discord]

Basically. That and realizing that being a giant bitch puddin' to everyone--which is where my head was for a while--only buys me trouble. And loneliness.

Yeah, technically. He is quite blue and fuzzy though. Like seriously, I don't know how he goes out without kids flocking around his ankles.

You want me to watch the door while you shower and we can continue this when you're not dusty?

[deadliestviper]

Ah, that makes things a little clearer. Loneliness, the ultimate motivator.

[She pauses, eyebrow raised.] Are you sure you don't mind? This could take me a really long time.

[scarlet_discord]

There's an amazing array of People Who Don't Suck here. [A shrug and a brief but real smile.]

Nah, I don't mind. The truth is that I was bored as hell and needed to get my mind off some crap.

[deadliestviper]

You make it sound almost bearable.

Well. I'm not sure how much entertainment my shower can provide, but I'm happy to help.

[scarlet_discord]

Well...it can genuinely suck, especially some of the Floods and stuff. I don't know if anyone's explained those to you.

Meh, it just seems rude to have you standing here itchy. We can finish after.

[deadliestviper]

Breaches I've heard of, but floods are new.

Thanks. I'll be back in a few, all right? [And a little more than a few minutes later she re-emerges mostly clean with the new t-shirt and still-dusty jeans. Good enough, she's smiling slightly as she holds out the towel.]

I did my best to keep it clean. Thanks for lending it.

[scarlet_discord]

No problem. [She takes the towel back.]

Floods are lesser versions of Breaches. Instead of everything changing it's usually one thing, and not everyone is affected.

Like one time a lot of people were turned into animals, and once we were all changed to different ages.

[deadliestviper]

Animals, shit. What the hell did you turn into?

[scarlet_discord]

I turned into the world's most awesome petsitter! And also took blackmail photos. [she pulls out her communicator and shows some stills. Here's a piggie in a cop hat, here's her riding on a gigantic liger...]

[deadliestviper]

[B takes one look at the communicator and laughs, especially at the pig.] That's appropriate. So how did you escape that time, and what do I have to give you for you to tell me who these were?

[scarlet_discord]

Hee hee...well, Floods don't affect everyone, and sometimes they only affect you partially.

You see, Mister Peegle here is actually this guy. [She flashes a picture of George.] Constable George. Just as cute. First cop I would ever consider dating.

And Bigass Liger is actually this guy. [Have a picture of Gaheris Rhade in a towel. She acks and fumbles with her communicator.] Shit, I had that bookmarked wrong....

[deadliestviper]

If this flood only affected people partially, I'd hate to see the result.

Wow. [B barely suppresses a grin as Wanda tries to minimize the picture.] Tricky things, aren't they? Can't wait until I get the hang of mine.

[scarlet_discord]

Furries, dudette. Furries, everywhere.

[Wanda is blushing] Yeah, OK, I'm a perv. But he's actually a seriously awesome dude under the skin as well.

[deadliestviper]

That's an image I won't be able to get out of my head tonight.

[B shrugs and smiles.] Did I say that? He's cute, I'll admit it.

[scarlet_discord]

Augh. [So much blushing.] Well, it's better than the manpile he was in the process of breaking up. These two guys were fighting over soap in the shower and managed to knock each other out. On camera. Naked and slippery. It was epic.

Yeah. Hot guys are pretty plentiful around here. The key is to find the ones that aren't royally fucked in the head.

[deadliestviper]

Have you got a picture of that? That, I wouldn't mind seeing.

That's always the key, and it's a lot harder than it sounds. Still, find a sane one and I'll bet you're the type he goes for.

[scarlet_discord]

[She giggles and scrolls through until she finds it. Two dark haired dudes, one fit and six inches taller than the other, and very much in awkward slippery manpile.]

Depends on the guy. Meh. I have time. Kinda gotta get my life together before I really think about that.