034 VOICE LIST TWELVE + SPAM

[deadliestviper]

[Art room spam]
[Bea's almost made it to a thousand paper cranes. When worry or anger overtook her in the days since port she parked herself in the art room and began working on the origami; several sessions later, she's hit nine hundred and is still working hard. She's surrounded by her handiwork, cranes of different sizes and colors littering the table around her as she folds another piece of paper sideways.

The look on her face, however, is not one of determination or concentration. She's frowning, eyes downcast, brow furrowed as she works. The task is obviously not what's on her mind.]

[Filtered to friends]
I've got something for you. Can I come see you?

Comments

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

[Now that's worrying. No doubt Iris has better stuff available but they may need all the help they can get: she grabs the last little bottle of rum in her mini-fridge as well as Iris' crane.]

That bad, huh?

[spam]

[routemistress]

[She catches Bea's eye and raises her bottle; her smile's real but garnished with a twist of bitter.]

This is me getting better. I lost 'old of me marbles for a bit, back there. I'm on me road back, though. I'm a tough old bird, me.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

I wouldn't like you half as much if you weren't.

[Settling down next to Iris, she crosses her legs in front of her and breaks the seal on her (tiny, especially in comparison) bottle.]

Is this the first you've been out? Besides, you know. [The infirmary doesn't count.]

[spam]

[routemistress]

Bastard never laid a claw on me this time. 'E learns fast; 'e knew perfectly well that weren't the way to get at me. Aye, pretty much. And then Cass went missing so I've 'ad that to worry about. I wish she 'adn't, but I work better with me mind taken off me own worries, so.

[She knocks back a generous slug of her gin, but she's starting to relax. Nothing recharges Iris like being around her people.]

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

You know, he did it well. Terribly and well. He knew exactly who to go for, and went for enough others that I'm guessing not everyone realized he was targeting you.

[She pauses before taking a swig of her own drink.] Fucking sadist asshole.

[spam]

[routemistress]

[Iris drops her gaze and smiles again.]

Aye. Now that I've got some distance on it, Bea... that's what gives me 'ope. Victor's very smart and I can't not like that about 'im. Smart enough to be very, very good at what 'e's doing.

[Oddly, that is a note of pride creeping back into her voice.]

...Babs and me both knew this'd 'appen sooner or later. It were luck that gave 'im this port to make such a good job of it in - I 'ad a bunch of safety nets in place, and they were all useless and depowered, this port. I'll 'ave to plan better, another time.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

I know he is. Unfortunately, that would be much easier to appreciate if he hadn't killed or tortured my friends.

[She turns the bottle over in her hands thoughtfully, thinking of the last time she lost friends, then the time before that.]

It's good that you expected it. Not just for the planning, for the -- because it's worse if it surprises you.

I wish I'd been there to try and stop him.

[spam]

[routemistress]

That's a human thing. I'm not knockin' it. but it comes easier to me to not take owt personally, if you see what I mean.

[It didn't come easily, this time; but every passing minute puts the pain and madness further into perspective - or at least, into Iris' normal perspective.]

Wildthyme's Law, Rule Number One: To live outside the law, you must be honest. I 'ave to be better at what I do than anyone else, 'cause I'm used to flying without a net.

[She sighs.]

I'm glad you weren't. Not with all 'is powers back on. I know you're good, but I watched that man's 'ead grow back on after bein' severed. It'd be like painting the bloody Forth Bridge.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

How can you not take it personally? [Beatrix understands Time Lords have broader minds than humans, but this point of view makes no sense to her at all. She can't even begin to see the logic in it. In a way a hate so strong it causes death is intimacy, maybe more intimate than sex. Almost as intimate as love.] How could anything possibly be any more personal?

[Wildthyme's Law, Rule Number One shuts her up, however. For just a second she thinks of Tommy, thinks of the man who had been her safety net. Who'd still be alive if she'd been honest.

It's too much to respond to at all and she just sips at her gin, glancing downward.]

...That's something I wouldn't have minded seeing.

[spam]

[routemistress]

Babs got better too. She sat up and 'eld me 'and. That part makes it a lot easier.

[That's not a complete answer, though, and Iris respects Bea too much not to give her one.]

...I've never asked you what you did before coming 'ere. I can give it a fairly good guess, mind. You know that place in your 'ead that lets you cut someone down without thinkin' about all their people, about everyone that loves 'em? That place where you detach from all of that because you've got a thing to get done and nothing can get in your way?

Mine's constructed to make a really good job of that, is what.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

Good.

[And that always did help; that she remembers keenly, but retreats from the thought fast as if it were a hot stove she'd just touched.

Iris' explanation makes perfect sense and no sense at all. Guerrilla wardening; what combat is to her, fixing people is to Iris. There are parts where the metaphor frays and doesn't hold up, but it makes Bea smile anyway, a little ruefully.]

Do you even have a deal? Or do you just want to be here?

[spam]

[routemistress]

[Iris looks up at her her, eyes narrowed with intent good humour.]

You got me. Wade's deal went for a fresh start for someone 'e loved, and this one? I 'aven't decided what that's for yet. I just like it 'ere.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

Must be nice. You'll get it, though, whatever it ends up as. Eventually. [She smiles back, and this time it's a little sadly. The Barge is becoming home to her -- albeit a volatile and weird one -- and starting to feel like where she belonged more than her own world.]

I've already got mine picked out.

[spam]

[routemistress]

[Iris raises her bottle in a silent toast to Bea's future deal.]

I'm a little amazed you 'aven't got started on it yet, to be honest. But I know you're close.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

[That makes her chuckle, and she raises her own bottle in answer to the toast.]

People have been saying that since the first day I got here, Iris. It could be awhile, I'm not even sure what to change.

[spam]

[routemistress]

[Iris falls briefly silent, considering the graduations she's witnessed.]

Sometimes it's a circumstance thing. You get pushed into a specific place and make a decision you wouldn't've made before - Chris wading in to defend a girl 'e barely knew from impossible odds. Wade looking 'is own demons in the face and deciding to keep staring 'em down instead of distracting. Sometimes someone says the right thing at the right time and you realise other people can be right without you 'aving been wrong - Adrian did that for our Rorschach. I don't think 'e's ever quite forgiven 'im, mind, but it stuck all the same. Sometimes it's a decision you make and stick by, like Riddick. I think it'll be that way for Victor, if I can get 'im there.

I think you're already there, meself. Maybe you're just waiting for that moment of clarity when you see it yourself.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

And sometimes it's just... one of those things.

[She sips her drink thoughtfully; none of this is untrue, but how much of it applies to her is up for debate.] I've been here for over a year and seen a lot of people come and go in that time. Some of them are better people than I am, some of them are worse. Some of them were like me.

You said you could guess what I did back home. Back there, I was one of the world's top three. Threw a garden party after my 100th job. [She swirls what little's left of the gin in the bottle's bottom.] And I came here halfway through some personal business I can't leave unfinished. Maybe that's why I'm still here.

[It's a horrible thought, one she's tried to bury: that she could be trapped and imprisoned for avenging the people she loved. For her daughter.]

[spam]

[routemistress]

[There's a locked cabinet in the spa since Iris took it over, with a stash of bottles; Iris selects one of spiced rum and two glasses and brings it back to the sunloungers.]

I did guess right, then. Might come of bein' in love with one. Maybe even two. Maybe three, if you count Wade. Summat about the mindset seems to work with me. People that understand about getting a job done, even though me own work's a bit less... surgical. Usually. It's good training for wardening.

[She's thinking over what Bea's told her.]

I don't want to ask about your unfinished business. But I can't 'elp wondering if that might be the key to it, all the same.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

[Despite the somber subject Beatrix grins when Iris breaks out more booze. It's good to see some things stay the same.]

I thought you were in love with Wade. [She takes the glass with a raised eyebrow, considering the point.] You'd think we'd be the worst wardens. To hear some people talk of it, at best we're too angry to be logical and at worst we're too cruel to be humane. [A shrug.] We both know that's not true, but the instinct to fight, and the drive to kill? Even if you keep it in check, even if you redirect the emotion, that's always there.

I think that's the problem.

[With that uncomfortable realization, suddenly talking about her rampage is a lot more appealing.] If I go back I have to finish it. Even if I didn't want to, I'm on their list as much as they're on mine.

[spam]

[routemistress]

Pretty much from day one. Wade just didn't call 'imself by the A word. Bit of a technicality, though, goin' by 'is file. No, I'll tell you why professional killers make good wardens; because one, attention to detail. You get someone in your sights and use everything an' anything you can to put 'em where you need 'em to be. It's only a little perspective shift to move that from dead to graduated. Two, you're the most resourceful people I've ever 'ad the luck to go to bed with - collective you, there, obviously - plus you're highly trained and bloody good at that detachment thing. And you need that, wardening. You need it when you're 'anded someone that's done vile things and your job's to save 'em.

[She sips her spiced rum and eyes Bea thoughtfully.]

There's usually more'n one way of finishing a thing.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

[Beatrix ducks her head and takes a sip of rum, smiling.] If I didn't know better I'd say you were out to flatter. Have you ever done that kind of work?

You raise a good point. Still, there are always some people with whom you can't make that mental switch. [She's talking about outside the Barge now, thinking of the three names left on her list, the two already crossed off.]

Maybe, but not this time. If you knew why -- [Damn it. This time she gulps down her rum, ignoring the burn in her throat.] I've got to finish what I started.

[spam]

[routemistress]

Setting out to kill people, no; but I target problems and solve 'em. It's a ...surprisingly similar skillset, in some ways. I didn't really spot that till I come 'ere and found we were the ones that understood each other best.

[She refills the glasses silently, not asking.]

You're the only one that can make that decision, my love. You know I'll do anything I can for you.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

So there's hope.

[Her smile is small as Iris pours, but it's there nonetheless.]

They used to be my people. Fucked me over, killed my friends and fiance -- and it was personal, there was no other way to take it.

...Killed my little girl.

[spam]

[routemistress]

...Oh, Bea.

[Just hearing that is like a kick in the teeth, and Iris knows - she does - how much worse it is first-hand. There's nothing else she can do under the circumstance but scoot closer and offer a hug.]

There's a lot to be said for ending someone that'd do that. I can't swear I wouldn't either.

[spam]

[deadliestviper]

[It's a hug she needs and Bea returns it, gripping Iris tighter than she really means to. It's not just about what happened back home, and she holds it for a long time before inhaling shakily.]

It's not just that. There were five of them -- two of them, I already killed. To stop now is as good as saying their deaths were useless.

Whatever they may have done to me, they deserve more than that.