deadliestviper | 040 VOICE LIST SIXTEEN

[Coming out of her first death toll (first real death toll; those times on the Mirror Barge don’t count), Beatrix is in bad shape. Everything hurts and she’s moving much slower than normal, shivering from a cold that just won’t go away. But there are things to be said, news to be shared, and they won’t wait for her to feel better. When the audio clicks on it catches nothing but a breath of air, the sound of hair brushing fabric and skin. Then a throaty voice, hoarse, one straining to sound as normal as possible:]

I want to apologize for everything my other self did. [She pauses; she wishes she could say she’d never done it, but in a sense she hadn’t. She wishes she could say it sickens her to see what her other self is capable of, but all the crimes were those she’d committed before.

Maybe all she can say is that she’ll never do it again.]

I won’t ask anyone to trust me after that. But if any of the people I hurt need satisfaction, whether in the form of words or blood, they’ll have it.

Just make it quick, please. I have unfinished business at home.

Private Messages

[Cecil, Vin, and Bond, separately]
We need to talk. [Mostly about how you’d better not be like that normally.]

[Arya]
I am not happy with you.

[Anya and Ben]
Please know that in my right mind I’d never would do anything to hurt either of you. You don’t have to believe it, but I need to say it.

[Zack]
I… Thank you. Thank you so much. For everything.

And I’m so sorry for trying to kill you.

[Friends and Family]
I’m sorry, again, about what I was.

I don’t know why, but I just – graduated. [She sounds supremely confused about this. Yes, Mirror Barge taught her two lessons, that death is cruel but can also be merciful, that war isn’t always the way to go. They seem like such simple truths, but they’re difficult to realize.] I’m going home. If you’re up for it, I’d like to see you before I go.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think I understand why you did it. [She can't quite accept the apology yet. Someday, yes, but she'll need time to ruminate on it, to let the injuries go.]

I wish Arya hadn't seen, though.

[Vin nods. It took her years to forgive Zane, if she can even be truly said to have forgiven him now. Acceptance is the first step, and that took years too.]

I would protect her from that with everything in me if I could. Here, I mean. I was very weak in that place.

I'm not weak here. She'll see the difference, even if it takes a while.

We all were weak.

It was designed to break us.

I was weak before that place. I made a wrong choice and let it define me. It was just a . . . convenient place to be empty.

So that was - impersonal.

Yes.

I kill for many reasons. If I'm in danger, or if someone I love is, or if there's something that needs destroying. That was - just a convenient way for me to feel less wounded.

That, I can understand.

[There's a long pause, during which she takes a deep breath.]

I... I don't see any reason why we need to dwell on this. [This isn't forgiveness, but it's a step closer to it.]

All right.

Will you talk to Arya? I know I will, eventually, but. You've known her longer.

I will. [Wryly:] I'm pretty sure she's seen worse.

I know she has. [We all have, she doesn't say.] It's more the . . . participating. Watching.

She's a lot stronger than she seems. Even there.

I broke before she did.

I know she is.

[A beat.]

Does she remind you of yourself, too?

Yes.

Then she'll be more powerful than the power she knows. That's good.

Did you ever doubt that?

No. Not at all. I just meant it's good that she knows you. There are different kinds of strength. Not all of them are beautiful.

[She is, and Beatrix is. Beautiful, dangerous, ruthless, and strong.]

Will you take care of her, while I'm gone? [Arya doesn't need to be taken care of, not like other children do, but they both know it. But she needs someone to help her become what she's chosen to be, and there isn't anyone on board she'd trust (trust) to do that than Vin.]

I will. I'll help her stay strong.

Thank you.

040 VOICE LIST SIXTEEN

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