040 VOICE LIST SIXTEEN

[deadliestviper]

[Coming out of her first death toll (first real death toll; those times on the Mirror Barge don’t count), Beatrix is in bad shape. Everything hurts and she’s moving much slower than normal, shivering from a cold that just won’t go away. But there are things to be said, news to be shared, and they won’t wait for her to feel better. When the audio clicks on it catches nothing but a breath of air, the sound of hair brushing fabric and skin. Then a throaty voice, hoarse, one straining to sound as normal as possible:]

I want to apologize for everything my other self did. [She pauses; she wishes she could say she’d never done it, but in a sense she hadn’t. She wishes she could say it sickens her to see what her other self is capable of, but all the crimes were those she’d committed before.

Maybe all she can say is that she’ll never do it again.]

I won’t ask anyone to trust me after that. But if any of the people I hurt need satisfaction, whether in the form of words or blood, they’ll have it.

Just make it quick, please. I have unfinished business at home.

Private Messages

[Cecil, Vin, and Bond, separately]
We need to talk. [Mostly about how you’d better not be like that normally.]

[Arya]
I am not happy with you.

[Anya and Ben]
Please know that in my right mind I’d never would do anything to hurt either of you. You don’t have to believe it, but I need to say it.

[Zack]
I… Thank you. Thank you so much. For everything.

And I’m so sorry for trying to kill you.

[Friends and Family]
I’m sorry, again, about what I was.

I don’t know why, but I just – graduated. [She sounds supremely confused about this. Yes, Mirror Barge taught her two lessons, that death is cruel but can also be merciful, that war isn’t always the way to go. They seem like such simple truths, but they’re difficult to realize.] I’m going home. If you’re up for it, I’d like to see you before I go.

Comments

spam

[inhell]

[ Ellie hasn't the faintest idea what to say to that. So, when she opens her mouth, nothing comes out but a little sob. She just starts crying. Bea makes her feel safe. And even a tiny bit of that, even the smallest hint of safety - she doesn't want to lose it. She doesn't want Bea to go. ]

spam

[deadliestviper]

[Bea loosens her hold enough to grab the door and nudge it shut, and then she does something she's never done before. With some delicacy she wraps an arm under Ellie's knees and lifts her up, ignoring the pain in her back and legs, and sits down on her bed. She strokes Ellie's hair, rocking her gently.]

It's all right now, honey. It's all over.

spam

[inhell]

[ It's not over. Nothing is over. The war isn't over, this Barge isn't over - so a worse nightmare has passed. So what? Ellie is still left in the lesser one.

But this helps anyway. She does calm down, eventually. ]

Re: spam

[deadliestviper]

[When Ellie calms Beatrix busies herself with drying her tears with a sleeve of her sweater and smoothing down her hair.]

Hey. No one's been giving you a hard time since the flood ended, have they?

spam

[inhell]

No.

Might be nice if they did.

[ She wouldn't really mind that much. At least that would be giving her a hard time for something she did do. ]

spam

[deadliestviper]

Shhh, you were trying to help. I think everyone sees that as the gesture of mercy it was.

spam

[inhell]

It had nothing to do with mercy.

[ She wanted to hurt them. And she wanted to end it. ]

spam

[deadliestviper]

It was the best way out.

spam

[inhell]

To me, yeah. It was.