deadliestviper | 040 VOICE LIST SIXTEEN

[Coming out of her first death toll (first real death toll; those times on the Mirror Barge don’t count), Beatrix is in bad shape. Everything hurts and she’s moving much slower than normal, shivering from a cold that just won’t go away. But there are things to be said, news to be shared, and they won’t wait for her to feel better. When the audio clicks on it catches nothing but a breath of air, the sound of hair brushing fabric and skin. Then a throaty voice, hoarse, one straining to sound as normal as possible:]

I want to apologize for everything my other self did. [She pauses; she wishes she could say she’d never done it, but in a sense she hadn’t. She wishes she could say it sickens her to see what her other self is capable of, but all the crimes were those she’d committed before.

Maybe all she can say is that she’ll never do it again.]

I won’t ask anyone to trust me after that. But if any of the people I hurt need satisfaction, whether in the form of words or blood, they’ll have it.

Just make it quick, please. I have unfinished business at home.

Private Messages

[Cecil, Vin, and Bond, separately]
We need to talk. [Mostly about how you’d better not be like that normally.]

[Arya]
I am not happy with you.

[Anya and Ben]
Please know that in my right mind I’d never would do anything to hurt either of you. You don’t have to believe it, but I need to say it.

[Zack]
I… Thank you. Thank you so much. For everything.

And I’m so sorry for trying to kill you.

[Friends and Family]
I’m sorry, again, about what I was.

I don’t know why, but I just – graduated. [She sounds supremely confused about this. Yes, Mirror Barge taught her two lessons, that death is cruel but can also be merciful, that war isn’t always the way to go. They seem like such simple truths, but they’re difficult to realize.] I’m going home. If you’re up for it, I’d like to see you before I go.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Done what?

...Watch? [She wanted to leave it where it was. Why do they have to talk about it, if it wasn't really them?]

Some days it's just about removing a threat. Reality's harsh and we still live in it.

[And he's still a graduate.]

[The gracious thing, the easy thing to say, is that none of them were themselves. Only Anya doesn't believe that. She feels like that girl was absolutely her. Part of her wants to confess - you were perfect, you were brilliant, except you gave up too soon, not quite ruthless enough to make Dean kill you - but that would just be cruel.]

I believe you.

When you come back, I'd like to resume lessons. But I do have a favor to ask, if I could.

Abigail, I'm going home to end the abuse that put me here. When I get back, can I help you try to end yours?

Will you take care of her, while I'm gone? [Arya doesn't need to be taken care of, not like other children do, but they both know it. But she needs someone to help her become what she's chosen to be, and there isn't anyone on board she'd trust (trust) to do that than Vin.]

Sometimes it just has to be done.

What changed for you, when you graduated?

Whatever you'd like.

[She's eager, maybe too much so, to make up for what she did. For the simple changes of circumstances it took to push her to it.]

Could you. Let me know how Abigail is?

I was pretty awful to her. I'll skip the joint lessons until she feels alright with it.

I changed some of my assumptions. I made a choice about how much effort I put into - [he waves around him, at the whole barge past these kitchen walls] - living with other people.

She's upset, but she insists she'll be all right.

Practice your form while I'm away, all right?

The truth about whether you'd do that to a woman.

I will.

And congratulations.

Watched. Or helped.

No. Just killed.

[Not always fast or clean, but sometimes that can't be helped. She's not sorry for it.]

Did it take less than you thought, too? [Less energy, less thought. Less conscious effort.]

Yes and no. Less ... Change. More effort to sustain.

[He purses his lips thoughtfully.]

Never.

[That, at least, he sounds clear for. He's been turned down before: he doesn't respond with assault.]

Thank you.

There's nothing else you want?

That's what I suspected.

Do you ever think you might slide back?

[She switches over to video, sombre and grave. For the moment, not angry.]

I want to hear that one more time, and I want to meet your eyes when you say it.

Good.

That's not what it's for. Not enjoyment. Information, or revenge, maybe, but never for fun.

Occasionally. But I find there's reasons to keep myself on the clear.

You want something to eat before you go?

[It's a frustration, in his mind: he wants to get back to the quiet, to the clink of his glass against the bar, or bottles as he refills.

But he turns on the video, because she has memories the same as he does, and maybe he owes her that much.]

I'm not a rapist.

[He meets her eyes. He's vehement, and truthful. He wants nothing to do with that Bond.]

It's not fun.

...Have you done it?

It's not.

Yes.

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040 VOICE LIST SIXTEEN

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