040 VOICE LIST SIXTEEN

[deadliestviper]

[Coming out of her first death toll (first real death toll; those times on the Mirror Barge don’t count), Beatrix is in bad shape. Everything hurts and she’s moving much slower than normal, shivering from a cold that just won’t go away. But there are things to be said, news to be shared, and they won’t wait for her to feel better. When the audio clicks on it catches nothing but a breath of air, the sound of hair brushing fabric and skin. Then a throaty voice, hoarse, one straining to sound as normal as possible:]

I want to apologize for everything my other self did. [She pauses; she wishes she could say she’d never done it, but in a sense she hadn’t. She wishes she could say it sickens her to see what her other self is capable of, but all the crimes were those she’d committed before.

Maybe all she can say is that she’ll never do it again.]

I won’t ask anyone to trust me after that. But if any of the people I hurt need satisfaction, whether in the form of words or blood, they’ll have it.

Just make it quick, please. I have unfinished business at home.

Private Messages

[Cecil, Vin, and Bond, separately]
We need to talk. [Mostly about how you’d better not be like that normally.]

[Arya]
I am not happy with you.

[Anya and Ben]
Please know that in my right mind I’d never would do anything to hurt either of you. You don’t have to believe it, but I need to say it.

[Zack]
I… Thank you. Thank you so much. For everything.

And I’m so sorry for trying to kill you.

[Friends and Family]
I’m sorry, again, about what I was.

I don’t know why, but I just – graduated. [She sounds supremely confused about this. Yes, Mirror Barge taught her two lessons, that death is cruel but can also be merciful, that war isn’t always the way to go. They seem like such simple truths, but they’re difficult to realize.] I’m going home. If you’re up for it, I’d like to see you before I go.

Comments

[mirabilis]

She made sense. [ With her reasoning, anyway. It was revenge, and not only for herself but for others too - vengeance. She understood that, and it was reasonable ]

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

[Seeing his face is enough to make her breath stop, just for a second, and she offers a silent prayer of thanks to whatever god is watching over her that she didn't run into him during the flood.]

I believe you.

[ Spam]

[deadliestviper]

...Sure. Whatever you want to make.

[deadliestviper]

In that world, maybe. [It's the realization that it wouldn't be sensible everywhere - not the Barge proper, not among friends, but maybe at home - that pushed her this far.]

[ Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

I'll heat you up some of last night's casserole. It came out well.

You know how long you're gonna be away?

[mirabilis]

And in this one. You were protecting others.

[deadliestviper]

That's how it started.

[Spam]

[deadliestviper]

Thanks. This death toll is kicking my ass.

I have to kill Budd, that should take a day. Track down Elle, get what I need out of her. Then Bill.

My guess is, maybe a week.

[text]

[routemistress]

you graduated because you deserve to, Bea love

i'm in the ces with an icepack and my dogs if you want to drop in here, else i'll pop in on my way back if you remind me of your room number. brain a bit scrambled still.

p.s. sorry about Bianca. do you remember any of the times other!you had a go at her now?

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

For information?

[Private]

[lastrat]

Thank you.

[It's not grateful, but not quite snide. He turns his feed back to audio only.]

Is that all?

[Spam]

[with_my_teacup]

[There's some silence, not too awkward, as he reheats a plate of leftovers.]


Think the admiral's gonna keep it synchronized time between here and there?

spam

[inhell]

[ Ellie was thinking about this very thing, but, even so, it takes her enough by surprise that she gives a little yelp. Not alarmed or afraid, just startled. She hugs back, wishing she didn't feel quite so grateful. ]

For what?

[fire_punk]

You don't need to apologize. I would've done it anyhow. Or tried.

private

[indispensible]

I will. I'll help her stay strong.

spam

[versusnurture]

No.

[A knee-jerk response: it's hers. She wants to end it. But - she breathes in. Out. Settles.]

Maybe. I have to think about it.

[Private]

[unknownsoldier]

[He coughs. He's been drinking, since that awful Mirror Barge, but he's sober when he flicks on the feed.]

You're not on my warden item. Congrats.

Don't worry about the [handwave, he trails off.]

[fridgetothefire]

I'm inconveniently self-sufficient, sometimes.

[Just a little bit wry.]

You were a different person. But I don't feel like I was, quite. I don't need anybody to atone for something I basically had coming to me.

But if you want to do something - when you're doing with the business you're going for, bring me some back some music you love. I'm a lot worse at exploring that for myself than books.

[Private]

[forsaken_queen]

[Oh look, someone is back to normal. ]

You're leaving.

[ Private ]

[warisart]

[Almost delicately, but extremely deliberately, Ben ignores the first part of this. He's seen enough people leaving to know that he's fortunate to get to talk to her, first, and he is happy for her.

Typically, there's not much besides the death toll of his own in his voice, though he is slightly more guarded than he might otherwise have been.]

If I do not know that, it would be through no fault of yours. Similarly, do you understand that I was considerably further outside of my own control than I would normally be at present?

[yeahscience]

Congrats. [His voice is cracked and weary, with a flatness that could be taken as sarcasm, but he means it. Unfinished business: he knows what that means in the mouth of an inmate. He remembers saying it himself, once.]

[mirabilis]

And then what? What better option was there? [ What other option than to kill to save someone else? Or even yourself? ]

[deadliestviper]

Thanks. [This is the most awkward part of causing injury on the Barge, Bea thinks. The apologies afterwards, the valiant if ultimately exhausting effort to move on.] How are you feeling?

[ Private ]

[deadliestviper]

[That hint of hesitation in his voice is something she can't begrudge him, but it hurts nonetheless. It's just a tiny sliver of distrust but it works its way right under Beatrix's skin and her voice is soft when she replies.]

I understand that. Do you want to see me?

[Private]

[deadliestviper]

[And someone else better understands why Sylvanas was so upset to be changed.]

You remember that half-blind bitch we had to take out in Silent Hill? Back home, the real thing's still free and healthy, poisoning wells as she goes. I have to take care of her. And Budd, and then Bill.

I'm coming back when they're dead.